It's been ages since I last updated my blog. What an eventful year it has been. My cambodian maid left after serving 2 1/2 years, my twins turning 3 this July, Zoe changed school from Real Kids Plus to Eduwis and now...... baby no 4 coming along and will be due on November. I thought it would be best if I put my thoughts into words before I get really busy with 4 kids. On the other hand, I also want to upload all the photos for remembrance. Perhaps one day, if I am gone, my kids can look back and read the blog and know that they mean alot to me in my life.
3 princess with 3 different personalities. Sometimes I feel I have been rather impatient with them and have not been a good mum to my 3 beautiful girls. At times I expect Daphanie to be like Zoe and at times I except Zaphanie to be like Daphanie. I guess every mum is in the process of learning to be a good parent and I am one of them. I need to find my place in God's heart as a woman and as a mum. Sometimes it is difficult to see myself beautiful in the eyes of God and I always question about His purpose in my life.
I question myself most of the time thinking whether have I been a good mum and wife. Sometimes I think I fail badly in carrying that 2 characters in this earthly life.
I am now carrying my 4th baby in this 3rd pregnancy. It came in as a real shock to me when I knew from my gynae that I am pregnant through the ultrasound scan. Many may say that it is an accident baby but to me, I believe it is planned by God. Well, what is He trying to do? Giving me another baby after I thought life is much easier now with me getting more rest and sleep at night? Giving me another baby when I thought finally we are more financially stable now? Giving me another baby to incur most cost? Giving me another baby to plan for his/her education and future... Well I had a whole lot of feelings to express here. Each time I look at the ultrasound of my 4th baby during every check up and how her tiny hands and fingers grow, it made my heart sink. This precious was given to me and yet I am still questioning God about His beautiful creation? What a sinful person am I to say that I am a Christian?
I am in week 12, 2 days, approximately. Yesterday was my check up and it was the day I found out the gender of the baby. Well, everyone expected and predicted the baby to be a boy. Thank God I have a great husband who kept constantly reminded me that a healthy baby is more important than having a boy. When the news broke to me that it is a baby girl, the whole thing about people commenting... Girl again ar... Wah, 3 girls already and now a girl? So many girls in your house hor... Well, if anyone ever read my blog and still commented this remark, I will give a piece of my mind to them. YES, it is a girl!!!!! And this girl is going to be the prettiest of all the other girls and she will be such a great blessing to many!!!! SO WHAT if it is a girl!!! She is going to be such a charming, sweet girl that attracts many. Well, all my 4 princesses will be that great woman after God's heart and they will be such beautiful girls that will touch lives and change hearts.
Sometimes I wonder why God will use a woman like me to bring up 4 girls. I, myself are searching my place in God's heart and I totally do not understand what's God plan in my life. I guess I will just have to patiently wait upon the Lord and see His hands of love, joy and peace surrounding our family each day. Hopefully I can search my soul and know where I am in HIM in due time.
I am now carrying my 4th baby in this 3rd pregnancy. It came in as a real shock to me when I knew from my gynae that I am pregnant through the ultrasound scan. Many may say that it is an accident baby but to me, I believe it is planned by God. Well, what is He trying to do? Giving me another baby after I thought life is much easier now with me getting more rest and sleep at night? Giving me another baby when I thought finally we are more financially stable now? Giving me another baby to incur most cost? Giving me another baby to plan for his/her education and future... Well I had a whole lot of feelings to express here. Each time I look at the ultrasound of my 4th baby during every check up and how her tiny hands and fingers grow, it made my heart sink. This precious was given to me and yet I am still questioning God about His beautiful creation? What a sinful person am I to say that I am a Christian?
I am in week 12, 2 days, approximately. Yesterday was my check up and it was the day I found out the gender of the baby. Well, everyone expected and predicted the baby to be a boy. Thank God I have a great husband who kept constantly reminded me that a healthy baby is more important than having a boy. When the news broke to me that it is a baby girl, the whole thing about people commenting... Girl again ar... Wah, 3 girls already and now a girl? So many girls in your house hor... Well, if anyone ever read my blog and still commented this remark, I will give a piece of my mind to them. YES, it is a girl!!!!! And this girl is going to be the prettiest of all the other girls and she will be such a great blessing to many!!!! SO WHAT if it is a girl!!! She is going to be such a charming, sweet girl that attracts many. Well, all my 4 princesses will be that great woman after God's heart and they will be such beautiful girls that will touch lives and change hearts.
Sometimes I wonder why God will use a woman like me to bring up 4 girls. I, myself are searching my place in God's heart and I totally do not understand what's God plan in my life. I guess I will just have to patiently wait upon the Lord and see His hands of love, joy and peace surrounding our family each day. Hopefully I can search my soul and know where I am in HIM in due time.
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