Big or small?

Pestered Muk Hian to take a picture of me carrying the twins before the arrival of Daph and Zaph. I want the girls to remember how mummy looks like when pregnant. Everyone said I look really really big and scary. Well, I'm fit and still kicking well. Will be on MC from next Monday onwards.

Met Dr Soh yesterday for my 35 weeks check up. Daph (eldest) is now 2.5kg and Zaph is 2.4 kg. He was very very happy with the progress. Was actually in the dilemma, considering whether to deliver in gov hospital(HTAR) or Sri Kota. It was truly a struggle for me every day. Spoke to Dr Soh for nearly an hour, telling him how I felt about the whole delivery thingy. He was really nice and understanding. Ultimately, he told me it was my choice and he wanted me to be most comfortable with my decision whether to deliver in HTAR or private. He patiently explained to me the pros and cons about vaginal delivery and Caesarean. After talking to him, I felt so much at peace to deliver the twins through C-sect.

I truly struggle with the thought of:

1. Staying in 3rd class ward (HTAR)

2. What if Zaph (Twins B) has difficulty since now she is in breech position. Carrying them for nearly 8 months plus, and if anything happens to Zaph, I'll regret for the rest of my life. And if the Bidans are is unable to maneuver Zaph into a Cephalic position, I'll have the risk of getting her out from the butt or from the legs. The last thing I want is having the bidan's hand into the birth canal. Arrrgghhh.. and YUCK!!

Delivering in the private (Caesarean) has its cons too:

1. Nurses there do not encourage breastfeeding. They take the easy way out by bottle feeding them.

2. Cost???

3. Caesarean!!!! :( will I get my body shape back????

Discussed with Muk Hian about it. Prayed about it. And finally had the peace to deliver in Sri Kota (Private). Besides, the babies are big enough and need not to be in the incubator. Secondly, I had passed the critical weeks. They will be 36 weeks next Tuesday and I bet they will be even heavier than 2.5/2.4kg by next week. After making that decision, I finally could sleep abit peacefully without thinking of the 'silly' ward and what 'if' 'SOMETHING' happens during normal delivery in HTAR.

I just pray for safe, healthy, cheerful and easy babies. Also pray for strength, courage and boldness to go through confinement days, raising up the kids, waking up at night, etc. AND especially strength to Muk Hian as he supports me. I can't wait to see the girls and the expressions of Zoe when she meets her little sisters.